John Balod

Top 10 List of Company-All emails that shouldn't be sent

jbalod — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 21:48:00 GMT

The Company-All email distribution list should be treated with utmost care. It's my observation that Telligent culture punishes those that cross a particular line. As a public service here is the top 10 list of subject items that are to be avoided at all costs. Whether by accident, on purpose or 3rd party email hi-jacking, expect the Telligent dog pile to begin as soon as any of these are sent:

10. Sure I'll meet you at the lake -- I'm working from home on Friday

09. Amazon - please overnight the ASP.NET for dummies book

08. You'll never believe the stunt my boss pulled yesterday

07. Hey Doc -- the burning sensation hasn't gone away - can I get you to renew my prescription?

06. I am interested in the position - I have attached my resume for your review

05. Here's the credit card number honey

04. I'm not that busy at work

03. The candidate I'm supporting for president is (fill in the blank)

02. My kid just made the honor roll

01. 3 more inches? OK -- send me a bottle

Telligent Recruiting - The Perks continue to grow...

jbalod — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 16:51:00 GMT

Just when you thought Telligent couldn't do anything else for their employees - Ramen Noodles are now in the snack cupboard...

Scott saves the day...

jbalod — Mon, 31 Dec 2007 21:56:00 GMT

Whew -- Def Con Four avoided...almost became the dad who didn't deliver...

Cody McCasland

jbalod — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 18:43:00 GMT

My son Andrew has a really cool friend (Cody McCasland) in his Kindergarten class that recently particpated in the White Rock Marathon. While that is impressive by itself, what really is amazing is that Cody lost his legs at 15 months old! Here is the video and story....

Update 1/11/08:

Cody is on the Ellen Degeneres show today: http://ellen.warnerbros.com/2008/01/cody_mccasland_courageous_kid.php

My Saturday was better than your Saturday

jbalod — Mon, 29 Oct 2007 13:22:00 GMT

I went to the Texas-Nebraska game on Saturday and the Longhorns came from behind to win in the 4th Qtr. (They were down 17-3). Being at DKR stadium on a Saturday afternoon never gets old. My friend and I planned this weekend trip under the guise that we needed to spend some quality time with our sons. I only get to go every couple of years, and it is always great, but the whole experience for the weekend was better than great -- it was outstanding!

The weather was perfect.

My friend didn't get to enjoy an upset.

Great quality time with my son.

We made new friends.

Responsibilities

jbalod — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 16:04:00 GMT

There is a Federal Express commercial that makes me laugh but also causes discomfort. Here is a partial transcript:

Meeting Leader: "Ok the presentation is due tomorrow -- let's make sure everyone knows their usual responsibilities"

Meeting Leader: "Jeff - you keep feeding me old information."

Jeff: (nods confidently)

Meeting Leader: "Dean - I want you to keep not living up to your resume"

Dean: (nods confidently)

Meeting Leader: "Sue - you're in charge of waffling"

Sue: "Are you sure?

Meeting Leader: "Gerome - you'll talk a big game, but deliver nothing"

Gerome: "Let's do it!"

Meeting Leader "Rick - can you fold under pressure for me?"

Rick: "Like a lawn share"

Meeting Leader: "Ted - you just keep thinking everyone is out to get you"

Ted: "They are."

The reason I feel discomfort, is because at one time or another I have played the part of each meeting participant. Over the next couple of weeks I'm going to track myself and hopefully not be a Jeff, Dean, Sue, Gerome, Rick or Ted...

Gerome is my absolute favorite, but I think I've been doing more Sue lately...

If you want to see the commercial: http://fedexads.designcdt.com/ (you have to click on the Responsibilities video, I couldn't find a direct link)

Why it's always a bad idea to make pictures of yourself available to co-workers...

jbalod — Fri, 05 Oct 2007 21:59:00 GMT

Today we salute you, Mr. Technology Executive who can still code

jbalod — Thu, 13 Sep 2007 22:56:00 GMT

Scott D helped me out today and I was inspired to write a Real Men Of Genius song:

----------------

Today we salute you, Mr. Technology Executive who can still code

You were once the Coding Rock Star but now are known more now for attending meetings
You, leader of the Development Teams proclamating to everyone within your influence that you're fully prepared to drive the code at any time
[chorus: where’s my Visual Studio!!]

Yes indeed you're still the alpha geek, sitting in the dark and drinking Mountain Dew, and that's exactly when you start hearing the Project Manager:

[chorus: are you done yet!!]

After all, who would want to be in the position of having to make Upper Upper management, Middle Management and Customers happy when you could be applying a hot fix or walking through the debugger
[chorus: are private class-level variables inherited?!!]

So go ahead, big guy – drive that code
[chorus: I’m not pushing to get time cards in today!!]

It takes guts to do what you do, holder of the MCP certification, but it takes even more guts to do what you haven’t done in awhile. Thank you.

This one's for you, Mr. Mr. Technology Executive who can still code.

Project: Replace Current Gate

jbalod — Sat, 28 Jul 2007 22:38:00 GMT

I set out to build a gate and I thought it would be useful to turn it into an official project. Here is a recap -

Project Name: Replace Current Gate (RCG)

Project Sponsor: Daryl Balod, Spouse

Project Vision: Replace current 13 year old gate with new gate in order to satisfy 6 month backlog request from Project Sponsor.

Primary Objective: The new gate will provide a barrier between pool area and pool supply area.

Business Driver: Current gate is falling apart. It is a safety hazard and detracts from property value.

User Stories / Core Requirements:

1. The gate will be able to open and close.

2. The gate will provide a latching mechanism.

Constraints:

1. The gate will reuse existing hinges and latches.

2. The gate will be made of wood.

3. The gate will be 60 inches tall and 47 inches wide.

4. Budget: Do not exceed 50 dollars.

5. Schedule: Project will be completed in 1 day.

Architecture:

Picket object (13 instances)

Back brace object (5 instances)

Latch object

Hinge object (2 instances)

Initial Project Plan / Proof of Concept / Basic Model:

IDE used:

Project Results:

1. All requirements completed:

1 Change Request was submitted: Water seal the Gate.

Reason for Change Request: Was not included in orioginal request.

Impact: Material Cost increased by 8 dollars. Schedule was pushed 1 day.

Result: Change request was approved and implemented.

Google Spreadsheets: Thumbs Up

jbalod — Sat, 21 Jul 2007 03:40:00 GMT

The EA team collaborated from remote locations today in order to deliver an estimate to our customer. We used Google spreadsheets to capture the estimate and I was really impressed with the product. What was really cool was that changes to the spreadsheet were shared in near real time. Everybody had the artifact after we were done, and it was centralized for later updates. On top of that -- it's free! I halfway suspect that I'm a late adopter to this product, but wanted to give it a plug...

A great 4th of July experience...

jbalod — Wed, 04 Jul 2007 19:18:00 GMT

Everyday at the DFW airport (Terminal D / Gate 22), American troops arrive from overseas. I took my kids today and it was an amazing experience. 125 soldiers arrived at 10:30 AM and were welcomed by hundreds of well wishers.

The soldiers families are escorted to the front of the line and when you see how happy the families are to be reunited it's very touching. I saw at least 2 soldiers reach for their babies. Watching soldiers return from a war zone and holding their kids for the first time is a very memorable experience.

It was a very patriotic occasion -- most people were dressed in red,white and blue and flags were handed out. A row of little girls brought flowers to hand out to the soldiers and more experienced greeters had candy bars, lifesavers, and other treats to hand out. Each and every soldier I watched looked very appreciative of the welcoming committee. I couldn't believe how young they looked -- they could have been our interns (only in better shape).

I have total respect for our military and am grateful for the sacrifices they make.

Here is the website that provides flight details in the event you would like to have this experience yourselves: http://welcometroops.com/

The San Francisco Rumors Have To Stop

jbalod — Thu, 21 Jun 2007 15:58:00 GMT

Deryl, Kyle, Robert, Tom and I went to San Francisco on a Business Trip and several rumors have been floating around. Rumors are not good for a company. The purpose of this post is to put an end to those rumors before they spread further.

Tom did go on the trip. He was there ready to support the team. All the rumors about him being at the beach, driving around town in a Cadillac with a hot blonde at his side, sleeping in late while the team was engaged with the client -- all false -- just rumors.
Robert did not sneak out one night to go Salsa dancing. Robert is not a mean Irish drunk. Robert has clean ears because he uses Q-tips on a daily basis. If you heard any of these rumors -- they are false.
Kyle did not lose his shirt at a bar. Kyle did not get a Butterfly tattoo with the words "Lola" underneath.
Deryl does not have a caffeine addiction. He is not a big whiny baby that has to have a Starbucks before he can actually work.
John did not perpetuate the stereotype that Asians are bad drivers. John did not get lost looking for a Target and end up at the Airport departure gates. A girl on a moped did not pass John. Impatient California drivers did not honk at John. John did not get dirty looks from an angry lady who thought he parked too close to her. John did not break the oil pan of the mini van.

These rumors must stop.

Weekly Telligent Haiku Topic: Our refrigerator

jbalod — Thu, 07 Jun 2007 04:22:00 GMT

This is an experiment. It has been my observation that along with superior technical talent, there also exists a creative aspect of Telligenti that longs to be surfaced.

Through the use of the Haiku, I invite others to express themselves.

I hope that this will be first of a series. This week's topic: The Telligent Refrigerator.

My Entry:

Clean, clean is our fridge
The stench of past meals now gone
Laura we love you

Please -- try it yourself -- it is both easier and harder than it looks...

Top 10 things NOT to say when interviewing for a Telligent Program Manager position

jbalod — Sat, 02 Jun 2007 02:38:00 GMT

Over the last several weeks we have been conducting interviews for new positions, among these are Telligent Program Manager positions. We have talked to several great candidates, and some, uh..not so great.

As a public service I thought I would post the Top 10 things NOT to say when interviewing for a Telligent Program Manager position:

10. "...so I told the developers to go ahead and start coding while I went and gathered the requirements..."

9. "...who is the hot blonde that runs the office -- does she have a boyfriend?"

8. "...I'm not really a fan of Microsoft technologies..."

7. "Are any of your projects done in COBOL?"

6. "Every single project I have managed has been on time and on budget -- I have never made a mistake..."

5. "I like that dress is casual at Telligent -- is it true that bathing is also optional?"

4. "You mean, as a Program Manager I would be expected to actually respond to every email directed towards me -- wow, that's asking a lot..."

3. "I feel that I should estimate the project without having to get input from the people who will actually build the site, after all, I am the Program Manager..."

2. "Sure I work well with others -- those assault cases were anomalies..."

1. "Personally, I think social networking and community sites are just a passing fad..."

Big 12 Baseball Trip

jbalod — Mon, 28 May 2007 02:14:00 GMT

"Scattershooting" is a term that long-time columnist Blackie Sherrod used when writing his column when he covered a variety of topics in a single post. I like it, so I'm using it...

Scattershooting about my overnight trip to the Big 12 Baseball Tournament:

* One of my kids (Mitchell) is a huge baseball fan, so for his birthday we went to the tournament in Oklahoma City. We watched the Aggies beat Kansas State and then Texas handle Nebraska. If you know me just a little, then you know how passionate I am about the Longhorns. Texas is ranked 6th in the nation and is expected to advance to Omaha (as usual). They have a sick line-up. Their number nine batter is hitting .286, so they are extremely loaded.

* I have to give Bricktown the big thumbs up. The tournament is held where the Rangers minor league triple A team plays (Redhawks) and the stadium is in the middle of an area like the west end. Good food, excited fans from all over, and cooperative weather made for a festive atmosphere. I have always liked minor league ballparks. You are just so much closer to the game.

* One of life's simple pleasure: An Aggie family took our seats between games, so I got to kick them out. I was polite, but I couldn't resist pointing out the concept of reservations and seat assignments. I received a small ovation from other Longhorn fans. I've sneaked down from the cheap seats myself, so that's not even an issue with me -- there were plenty of empty seats -- it just felt good to kick an Aggie out of my seat...

* For a great aftergame meal I recommend Earls Rib Palace. The 2 meat combo was $8.50. In Dallas, the same meal is $12.00. Speaking of prices -- Gas was $3.18/gallon - Yikes!

* Crocs get mixed fashion reviews at best, but Burnt Orange Texas Crocs in Oklahoma were not well received....oh well I wore them proudly...

* Cruise Control is underrated -- it was around 400 miles round trip and I'm guessing half of it was on Cruise Control -- I've been having a few knee problems, so I really appreciated being able to relax my legs and just steer...