I read somewhere that an apple in the morning has a comparable effect as morning coffee. Being a loyal follower of The Green Mermaid and knowing there are more health consequences than benefits of coffee, I decided it would be a good idea to conduct The Apple Experiment where I eat an apple in the morning instead of having coffee.

Day 1: Dreading the lack of coffee, I took my apple in the car with me and ate it on the way to work. The crispness of the apple was nice and the red delicious was sweet enough, but I was slightly angered that I couldn’t put chocolate syrup in it. At the office, I had a Mountain Dew after my morning meeting. I had a Mountain Dew with lunch. And I had a Pepsi in the afternoon. They were good sodas. On the way back to the office after a trip to Target with TheBlackFin, Tom paid homage to The Green Mermaid as I admired her from a distance.

Day 2: Forgot my apple. Googled my theory about the apple being as good as coffee in the morning. Found an article on Snopes.com that said only coffee can relive a coffee withdrawal. Agreed with Snopes. Relinquished my freewill to The Green Mermaid.  

The Conclusion: the apple is an inferior food to coffee. It is difficult to add chocolate syrup and caffeine to an apple, not to mention whipped cream—what a mess! Apples are inexpensive, but there aren’t trendy apple shops on every other corner in case you forget your apple at home (I mean, if you don’t count grocery stores). Furthermore, I’ve never heard of anyone being addicted to apples; clearly, coffee has the competitive advantage here. Bottom line—if you expect me to eat an apple instead of having coffee in the morning, it better be in a bowl and smothered in chocolate, whipped cream, and caffeine sprinkles.